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| The Simpsons |
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Homer Simpson
Can life get any better for Homer J. Simpson? He juggles the roles of husband, father, safety inspector at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, bowler, beer drinker, astronaut, small business owner and dreamer, and makes it all look easy. But it wasn't always so easy for Homer J. Raised by his father, Abe, who tried to compensate for the absence of Homer's radical hippie mother, Homer graduated at the bottom of his high school class and managed to earn the distinction of being the longest-term entry-level employee at the plant. Together with his high school sweetheart, Marge Bouvier, Homer settled down in Evergreen Terrace, the nicest upper-lower-middle class section of Springfield, to raise his three precious children. Homer is fond of Duff Beer, donuts, Marge's pork chops and watching the Bee Guy on the Spanish channel. His dislikes include his boss, Mr. Burns, yard work and his neighbor, Ned Flanders.
Marge Simpson
Marge Simpson is a happy homemaker and mother of three. Her prides and joys are Bart (her "special little guy"), Lisa and Maggie. She's also very proud of her husband, Homer, even though he frequently loses his keys and needs her to find them. Marge also has strong relationships with her sisters, Patty and Selma, and with her father-in-law, Abe Simpson. But she also has secrets: She has been tempted to stray from her husband by a charming bowler and was nearly seduced into a life of crime by her one-time neighbor, Ruth Powers. Aside from her duties at home, Marge has flirted briefly with a number of careers ranging from police officer to anti-violence activist.
Bart Simpson
Bart Simpson is misunderstood. Wrongly pegged as an underachiever and troublemaker, Bart would like to remind the world of some of his decent qualities: He looks out for his sister, Lisa; he's befriended outcasts and misfits like Milhouse Van Houten and Ralph Wiggum; he's injected romance into the life of his teacher, Edna Krabappel; and he brought down an illegal French winery during his brief semester abroad. So what if he's also befouled the Springfield Community Church with phony hymns or prank-called Moe's Tavern several times a day for the last few years? It all balances out, right? At age 10, Bart has managed to live out a number of dreams: He has starred in his own short-lived TV series (with his idol, Krusty the Clown), spotted and named a deadly comet that nearly destroyed his town, and almost snagged the role of Fallout Boy in the Radioactive Man movie. He couldn't have done any of those things without the help and support of his best friend, Santa's Little Helper.
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Lisa Simpson
Lisa Simpson can't wait for college. She's only 8 and already reads at a 14th grade level, and has written a number of application-quality essays, one of which won her family a free trip to Washington, D.C. Her favorite activities include playing her saxophone, attending school and reading Non-Threatening Boys Magazine. A fan of Malibu Stacy, Lisa tried unsuccessfully to create her own talking doll, Lisa Lionheart. Unfortunately, no one wanted to buy a talking doll that was as judgmental as Lisa. Lisa wants everyone to know that she is a vegetarian and that if she could have one thing (besides world peace), it would be a pony.
Maggie Simpson
Maggie Simpson has done a lot in her one year of life. She's learned to spell her own name with an Etch A Sketch, she's wandered the town of Springfield all by herself, and she's shot Springfield's richest man because he attempted to steal her lollipop. Eventually, she'd like to learn how to speak and walk without falling down.
Abe "Grandpa" Simpson
Not many people know that Abe Simpson is a highly decorated veteran of the Second World War. Even fewer people know that he is the inventor of the toilet and the man who made cats and dogs hate one another. No one knows these things about Abe because no one listens to him. In fact, they usually leave the room when he starts to speak. Father of Homer Simpson, grandfather of Bart, Lisa, and Maggie, Abe, aka Grampa, lives in the Springfield Retirement Castle where he enjoys soft foods and company of his friends. Abe was lucky enough to briefly find success in his retirement as a writer for the award-winning Itchy & Scratchy cartoon series. That career came to an end when he publicly scolded the entire cartoon industry at an awards show. He has won no awards since then.
Patty Bouvier
Patty Bouvier resents the suggestion that her life is empty and boring. First, she has her sisters Selma and Marge, but foremost, she has Richard Dean Anderson, aka MacGyver. She passes her days as a clerk at the Springfield Department of Motor Vehicles, administering eye exams and approving people for driver's licenses. She spends her nights at home, watching MacGyver and smoking cigarettes. Many, many cigarettes. Patty prides herself on being less desperate than her twin sister, Selma, who has been married and divorced twice.
Selma Bouvier
The only thing Selma Bouvier hates more than her brother-in-law, Homer Simpson, is being single. She has been married twice and, as luck would have it, divorced twice as well. First, she married Sideshow Bob shortly after he served his prison term for framing Krusty the Clown. The marriage ended amicably after Bob tried to blow Selma up during their honeymoon. Her second marriage was to Troy McClure, whom you might remember from such films as The Greatest Story Ever Hula-ed and They Came to Burgle Carnegie Hall. She married Troy in order to restore his reputation after a scandal involving underage fish nearly ended the thespian's career. Their marriage ended after Selma and Troy realized they neither loved nor felt particularly attracted to one another. For now, Selma's most enduring relationship is with Jub Jub, her pet iguana.
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Smithers
How many people can say they love their jobs as much as Waylon Smithers? As the personal assistant to C. Montgomery Burns, Smithers enjoys an intimacy with power that most people will never experience. His responsibilities include driving Mr. Burns, peddling him on a tandem bike, cleaning and maintaining his denture collection (including Burns' prized fang dentures) and calling employees into Burns' office to be fired. Outside of work, Smithers spends his time collecting Malibu Stacy dolls, using his computer (with its Mr. Burns screensaver) and going on vacation at men's singles resorts. His greatest ambition is for Mr. Burns to respond to his loving devotion; short of that, he'd like to own the latest life-size Malibu Stacy outfit.
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